Digital Dating

So let's be real, I can write about makeup and shoes but this is the stuff we actually want to talk about, the juicy stuff.

If you’re single at the moment (no judging I’m totally single… if you couldn’t already tell…), then no doubt you have a dating app on your phone. If you haven’t, you’re lying or you’re just missing out. It’s one of the most fun things about being single nowadays. I remember moving to London and downloading tinder within a couple of weeks because everyone had it. After living somewhere where there was such a taboo about dating apps and then going somewhere that it didn’t have this shitty rep, my opinion on online dating completely changed. BUT, I’m going to be super real, I’ve never really gone any further with someone from an app than a chat and even that is rare because I play the apps. When I say that, all I mean is that I just swipe for fun, I do it to see if I’ll match someone, see if anyone I know is on there, check their bios, choice of pictures, you get my point. It’s more of just a past time, I just want to see what’s around. Some people collect coins, some people collect watches, I collect matches (LOVE THAT LINE). I also think that when it comes to looking at boys profiles, boy oh boy do some of them not know what they are doing. Let me tell you what you’ve already seen: mirror pics with their top up (or better yet A TANK TOP!!!!!), a posey selfie, a pic with their ex, the one with them and a baby (accompanied with the inevitable “the baby’s not mine” line in the bio), the list goes on and on. These pictures almost become cliches and the signs of a boy I am NOT going to want to date. Nonetheless, some of them do somehow get girlfriends (shoutout to them) and I’m still single so who am I to say anything? 

I think there's a very specific way to build up your dating app profile. This applies to girls, not guys, (although here's a quick breakdown if you are a guy and want a girls opinion: a piss take pic of you, a picture you'd be willing to put as your linked in profile pic and a pic of you with your parents or your fam. Bio wise, go with a witty line, NOT A BASIC JOKE, be witty). If you're a girl this is what I would advise, three pics of you off of your insta and then a selfie and a pic that you were going to post on insta but didn't quite make the cut (you want to show them that not so slick version of yourself and some exclusive content). Bio wise, I would stick with either nothing, or just where you're from if it's kind of interesting. I only say that because mine is 'NZ' which I think is pretty random, unless you're living in New Zealand, at which point don't bother. OR, on my tinder as an absolute joke I put "speak now or forever hold your peace" which has gotten some guys to send pretty lengthy paras which you can't help but giggle at or you get the ones who are witty af and actually come up with good lines. But on a real I don't particularly think you need to put much of a bio.

 

I do give kudos though to the girls who actually go one dates with guys from apps (and vice versa), whether it be just a hookup or something more because I'm too much of a wimp. That’s another thing, I remember being told that “tinder was for hookups and bumble is for relationships” and it’s funny just how much people stick to that. I still have both because why not? I remember when my best friend came to London in October time of my first year we both were on tinder and literally would just giggle at it, such a game. And to be honest, I think most people do use it that way as well, because how many times have you matched with someone and they don’t talk… Never? Oh shit… that’s just me? Awkward……….

 

I also can’t decide if dating apps have made people more shy in person or if that’s just an english thing? In New York, guys have NO SHAME and I was shook to say the least. They’ll come up to you anywhere and chat and ask for your number, it’s pretty impressive and they always seem to be you age. In London it’s a whole different ball game (no pun intended… kinda, kinda intended). The guys are always mid thirties and for lack of a better word, a bit creepy, like no thanks byeeeeeee. It’s made me miss the days of liking someone in school and just waiting for a party so you could talk, or liking an insta and then sliding into their facebook chats (WHO REMEMBERS THAT!!!??). Or throwing it back even further, ,maybe this was just my school, back when I was like 8 I remember we used to throw little paper balls with notes on them like “love you” and then you would go home and email each other - LIVED FOR THOSE DAYS. I guess that was kind of digital… love e-mails… Send me a love e-mail, you’re pretty much guaranteed my heart. Who remembers in Sex and the City when Big e-mails Carrie the ‘Love Letters of Great Men’ and she only finds them later at the end because they were in a secret file? Like just imagine one day you check your junk mail and you found all these love letters, oh my god, I have to stop my mind is racing. 

 

Let’s backtrack and get back to the point, digital dating. Relationships that evolve most over chats on WhatsApp, let’s talk about that for a sec. That’s a thing. I’m not sure how I feel about them to be honest, they give me school vibes but also LIVE for those midnights chats where shit gets deep. But I feel like now as we’re older you try to see people more often, and most likely you’re not living at home so you can do that. I get a bit weird about what i’m going to call “WhatsApp relationships” because I think sometimes you do get a bit too deep and then when you see each other in person it’s like oh shit, that was A LOT, and in those situations I tend to get awkward and uncomfortable. And I swore I wouldn’t get myself into that kind of sitch again (shocker - did it over and over again). But sometimes I think friendships FLOURISH on social media, two of the people I’m super close to now we never really spoke in school and now I don’t go a day without talking tot them and that was all digital. One of my super close friends turned to shit, but once I left school I’ve only thought about it a handful of times and mostly only because of how close we were and how weird it is that now, I seriously have no idea what the dude is doing, but that’s a story for another day or never. 

 

ALSO BREAKUPS. That’s a weird one. Breakups in the digital… uffffffff. Do you unfollow them? Keep them because you don’t want to seem dramatic? Like their pics? How do you manage that? I feel like for me it varies. Some dudes I’ve spoken to are great likers, there’s an unspoken thing where we both just like each others pics, I can deal with that. Dudes who I don’t unfollow but don’t like anything. Dudes that have made me so angry I have erased from ALL possible platforms. It’s weird, I think sometimes there’s something nice about knowing you can check on someone to see what their up to now, but i think that only comes if you genuinely care about their wellbeing and their happiness. Or you're just a nosey bitch who can't help herself... GUILTY!!! (Sorry Zayn’s song ‘Let Me’ just came on and now I’m distracted… FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE FOR THE REST OF YOURS FOR THE REST OF OURRRRRRS). Actually now that I’m thinking about it, there are actually guys I’ve never really thought of since. Which makes me think there are definitely guys who have been like that about me, hopefully not all of them… In a messed up way, I do kind of hope every once in a blue moon they think of me.