So as I was thinking about the perfect boyfriend, my friend snapped me out of the trance ‘you can’t do everything you do now if you have a boyfriend’. Since then I have not been able to stop thinking about it, does that much really change?
In my head a boy would just slot into my life, I didn’t see where the extra effort would be. I’m a selfish 20 year old (almost 21!!!!) who in her day to day life only thinks about herself so the thought of having to think about someone else when I’m doing anything seems ridiculous. I genuinely didn’t get that it would be a conscious thing on my mind.
Maybe (not maybe - absolutely, no doubt about it, a hundred million percent) it’s been a while since I’ve been in that position and I do really live the single girl life (debatably not as much as I should be) so I can’t even imagine having to be thinking about someone else. Which then got me thinking “shit, am I too single for a relationship???????”.
Can you be single for so long that there comes a point where you essentially become unable to fathom the thought of seriously being in a relationship? Because if you can, Houston WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
But not even just that - I’ll probably have an identity crisis the day I get a boyfriend (if it ever comes) because half my jokes are based on being single, I mean let’s be real, phephebelle.com RELIES ON ME BEING SINGLE. What would I write about if I was in a happy relationship? There’s no content in that!!! (Just kidding, don’t take offence, love a happy relationship x)
The longer I’ve been single, the more I expect from people (no shit, look at my list) and the less I tolerate. The guys I’ve spoken to in the past have it easy because I end up glorifying them and making them out to be the closest things to perfect- WHICH THEY ARE NOT. Although, maybe a combo of all of them wouldn’t be half bad…In fact maybe, that could be perfect...
The way I look at it is, I haven’t been single for all this time for me to just settle with someone. I love a “love at first sight” moment, although haven’t had one of those but if I start talking to someone, if I go any further, they’ve usually made my heart beat faster than it should pretty early on. If they haven’t, I call it a day and write a post about them - call me Taylor Swift.
But then again, I have friends who have been single for a while and they get into relationships and their whole mentality changes. They even start saying “we”, they “we” me! SO maybe, it just takes a boy to swoop in to change your mind, but there is one thing I will never stand for and if I ever, EVER become this girl, I would want someone to slap me silly until I swore to never say it again. Girls that justify being with someone because “they have so much history”, NO GIRL. That is the world’s worst ever excuse, it literally makes me want to cry when I hear it.
So where does that leave me in the grand scheme of things? Single and all of a sudden not wanting a man ruining my pretty perfect life right now. And reading over all the reasons to be single whilst drinking a pornstar martini and watching a chick flick without a boy in my space.