To Pay or Not to Pay?

Sometimes you’ve got to be quite logical. In all different aspects of life, including dun dun dun…

L O V E.

My absolute favourite topic (no shit Sherlock), which is quite ironic. 

One thing you’ve got to consider is that a man could in a way be an economical investment. You know, dinner, drinks, the occasional present.. you get the gist, it’s on him . I mean, it is, unless your guy/ potential guy is someone that I’ve gone a date with.

Wahey, talk about a great buildup to a story. But let’s be real, I’m joking saying you should get a  boyfriend as an economic investment, but what actually is the deal when it comes to the bill?

I’m no stranger to an awkward bill situation. I’m not one to not offer to pay, I always offer, as you should. Even if you  have no intention whatsoever to actually pay, a lady ALWAYS offers. 

I may have just been quite lucky beforehand with guys always just paying for everything, one guy NEVER let me pay, if anything he would get offended when I tried to pay. Oh how I wish that the London boys got that memo.

Let’s backtrack a sec. Let me set the scene, Princeton guy, rower, Analyst at a bank (this is crucial because you can betcho bottom dollar I checked Glassdoor for that salary after this sitch and let’s just say he could have spared the 5 pounds), I’m thinking ‘right, this boy is a MAN, he’s lived in America, this guy knows dating’. That thought could not have been more off.

I take control of a lot of things, I’ll admit. Maybe it’s because I’m a strong independent woman (who wants her bill paid by her date?)… or maybe it’s just because I think (don’t just think, i KNOW) my way is always right. So when I’m asked just how flexible I am location wise (if you thought another kind of flexible, I like you!), and then given the scope of the WHOLE of London, you can bet I picked somewhere near me and suggested a list of places. 

A list of ten places - happy hours, fun places, nicer places, a RANGE of places. Like there I am just trying to give suggestions because this guy wasn’t bringing much to the table. Like this should have been the first red flag “hey phe, this guy has no control of this situation, maybe not the guy for you” but NOPE! I was still living on the Princeton hype thinking this was going to be my Cinderella Story moment, he was the Nomad609 to my PrincetonGirl818 (if you didn’t get that, well… I have no words).

Anyways, his answer to my list is “These are all rather expensive I will say, we could be overlooking the unbeatable London pubs”, WRONG ANSWER BUDDY. Don’t give that vibe and bring up money, it’s weird and awkward for everyone - maybe just suggest some of your own phucking options. But also DO NOT THINK I WILL ACCOMPANY YOU TO A PUB!! Like I hate to be this girl… who am I kidding? No I don’t, a pub is NOT A BITTA ME. So I say flat out I don’t know any pubs and also drop in TO BE POLITE, something along the lines of that I’d pay for my own drink thinking he would act like any normal guy and refuse that (let us remember mr Yale and that whole sitch). OH NO NO NO, not this boy, he jumps to the opportunity and literally just picks a place. Red flag numero dos! 

But I still end up going (can you tell the desperation?!). We order drinks and the bartender pulls out the machine to pay and this boy literally looks at me then at the machine. Backwards and forwards, his eyes flitter between me and the machine. I have never felt more awkward in my life, even the bartender was like wtf is happening. And let’s not forget to mention, he hasn’t just ordered a beer, he’s ordered THE MOST expensive drink on the menu. Anyways, I pull it together, pay it. HE DOWNS THE DRINK and orders another. Looks at me again. Oh sweetie, absofuckinglutely not. You bet I bounced outta there ASAP.

But it brings up the question: what the phuck is the deal with paying? I’m not down for ‘splitsies’ (neither are any of my friends, so it’s not a ‘me’ issue), and if he has the expectation that I am going to pay, well… That’s just a no no. But at the same time, I’m not expecting him to pay… Kind of… A little bit… I ABSOLUTELY AM!!!!!! Every girl loves a gentleman and I hate to say it but that is just what a gentleman would do. 

I’m not saying I would never pay my way either. Don’t be weird and think that, but on a first date, which at this point, I would say I know my fair share about first dates, things like that are instant turn offs. That’s not to say either that it’s not ok to not have money, but if that’s the case suggest things and find an alternative or something cheaper. Ultimately, this boy was just not my cup of tea or water or pornstar martini.