Just thinking

ever sit and wonder « why tf am I still thinking about this? », I do, all the time. I have this horrible attachment to things I shouldn’t and can’t see to shake them. It’s 11.23pm on a December night in 2018 and I’m still hooked on thoughts that have been on my mind for years, all the what if’s and if onlys... but the thing is, if it was meant to be it would have been by now. So why still think about things. If only I had put more time into it I could have gotten a better grade, if only I had changed that one thing everything would be different, what if I hadn’t gone blonde in year 12 would I look anything like I do now, if only I’d said no then I might not be thinking about it now, what if I hadn’t gone to the beach that day, if only I could follow my own advice... the list goes on and so do the thoughts. 

summerrain☔️ (Playlist 5)

So I was on a road trip from Budapest back to France over the weekend and on one of the days it was pooooouring. Obviously, I did the only thing you can do in a car when it’s raining - made a super soppy playlist and looked out the window as it played. 




playlist 4

I don’t really have an explanation for this playlist. It’s called “long nytes” and it’s just a vibe. The songs just go well together.  





i think we both know

this is the love we won't get right


still if u said that wanted

i know we'll always have one more try

u pull that face like here we go again



something special 2 me (playlist 3)

First playlist of 2018! I was listening to most of these songs back in October time and couldn’t get enough. Although back then, I was listening to them on a YouTube playlist because Apple Music doesn’t have “happy” by Natasha Bedingfield which oh my god, literally the HAPPIEST song EVER. This playlist isn’t a “let’s let LIT man”, no, that’s not this playlist. This playlist is just suppose to make you happy, I listen to this walking to uni (even when it’s raining, I smile the WHOLE way there), in the shower (haven’t slipped yet), cleaning my room (this process ends up taking way longer because it just ends up being a one man dance party) and most importantly it’s my morning playlist. When I’m getting ready this playlist is perfect, because it’s got a mix of chill songs, upbeat songs, ahhhh I just love these songs so please go and listen to them. They’re the epitome of a basic white girl playlist but idgaf (side note - IDGAF by Dua Lipa LOVE, love the song, love her).

I called it something special 2 me because it really is (CHEEESYYYYY), if I’m in a bad mood I play any song from this playlist and I get over it straight away. If my life was a movie, this would be the soundtrack. 


This Just Happened

I was just sat here going through this website and I love going through it and seeing where I was, what I was thinking and then I thought of someone. I looked at my phone and they had just messaged me. Little coincidences like that make me so happy. 


R-I-P to the old you
I miss the old you
It's like you're dead to me now
R-I-P to the old you
I fucking miss you
I would have never let you down like you did to me
Now you're dead to me

-olivia o'brien


If I Could

Do you ever sit and wonder if you could go back to a moment in time and do something over? If you haven’t, well this is awkward. If you have, join the club, I do it all the time. I know ‘you shouldn’t think about the what ifs’ blah blah blah but you know I’m only human (after all) and to be honest sometimes it’s quite ‘fun’ thinking about or imagining how things could have gone. One thing I used to think about, not so much anymore considering I couldn’t tell you the last time I fought with someone, but I used to always think about what I should have said in the middle of a fight that would have been a better way to go about it. I always seem to think about a couple of relationships with people that maybe didn’t need to end, or shouldn’t have ended the way they did. I could name two off the top of my head but knowing that there’s a chance that they could read this makes me think it’s maybe not the best idea, so maybe deep down I know that there’s a reason those people aren’t in my life. Just a thought.